REV: Gig 'em Horns!

While the Ags undoubtedly get smeared somewhere in this flick (could it possibly be any worse than The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas) it still promises to be the best worst film of the year. Not up to date? Check out these bloggings from A Perfectly Cromulent Blog and Burnt Orange Report:

February 21, 2005
Everyone's a critic
By Pete somebody

But not so much this weekend, which is going to be a banner one for the moviegoing public. Seems the two "biggest" movies opening on Friday (Man of the House and Cursed) are not being screened for the press.

It isn't likely to make much of a difference, of course. Van Helsing, Aliens vs. Predator, and Boogeyman, to name a few, weren't screened in advance either.[1] And all three of them managed just fine at the box office. It's a chickenshit move, but not ineffective, and serves the bottom line.

Nevertheless, in order to combat these continuing egregious acts of studio cowardice, I'm toying with the idea of preemptive reviews. Frankly, if they're not going to give me the opportunity to check out their films, I think I'm entitled to make as many judgements and assumptions about their (lack of) quality as I damn well please.

I'm just getting off the ground with this, but so far I've come up with the following:
MAN OF THE HOUSE - Continuing America's love affair with all things Texas, director Stephen Herek sets his "reimagining" of Adventures in Babysitting in the state's capitol, where Tommy Lee Jones has his hands full taking care of five lesbian college cheerleaders for the University of Texas. The girls' constant experimentation with PCP leads to a series of violent mishaps, culminating in their taking to the field in the school's annual game against Texas A&M, which they win handily. With cameos by Texas Governor Rick Perry as street hustler "Raul 'Dirty' Sanchez" and State Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn as "Madame Oviraptor."

Read the rest here: A Perfectly Cromulent Blog
And while you're there, check this out too: Man of the House trailer review


Man of the House; How Embarrassing
By Zach Neumann
Burnt Orange Report
21 Feb. 2005

I don’t know if any of you have been following this, but on Friday the Burnt Orange is going to be looking pretty bad. Why you ask? Because the administration decided that it would be in the best interests of the University to allow Tommy Lee Jones and Cedric the Entertainer to film a movie centered around the UT cheerleading squad. Though I haven’t done much plot research, I get the impression that the story is as follows: 1. UT cheerleaders witness a crime (a murder I think) 2. They are being threatened because they are witnesses 3. A gruff, yet kind hearted Tommy Lee Jones is assigned to protect them 4. Hilarity ensues. I know this provides publicity for UT, but at what cost?